I Thought College Was Within My Reach, I Was Wrong!

Sitting here thinking about the world we live in. Life in America is a conspiracy against anyone who isn't white. In terms of education, they enact policies to push us out of school. They tell us you can do whatever you put your mind to and that college is not a choice, but it is mandatory. We get all hopeful thinking we actually have a chance out of the hood, not realizing that we gotta work 10x as hard. We apply to college and get accepted. But can't go because it's too expensive and no matter how many loans we take out, we'll never be able to pay for the education that we have a right to. It's saddening.

8 Fascinating Things We Learned About The Mind In 2015 Response

“Good sleep is critical to a healthy emotional life” (23). I couldn’t have said it better myself. For the last past few years, I have been depriving myself of good sleep, staying up really late to memorize information for exams and complete projects and assignments. This has had a detrimental effect on my life in general, more so my emotional life. I have become so overwhelmed with stress, that I have allowed it to turn into something bigger than it was. I am an emotional rollercoaster and every day feels like I am on the brink of a mental breakdown.

Stress is common and a little stress can be healthy, however, stress from college and scholarship applications, never ending homework assignments, extensive projects, a dysfunctional home life, financial struggles and a poor social life has worn me out. Add in a lack of sleep and a lack of proper nutrition, my engine is ready to stop running.

Typically I get about 3-4 hours of sleep a night. This isn’t even a good snooze. Lack of sleep not only makes people grumpy, but it also causes accidents, higher one’s risk for a plethora of heart related diseases, is linked with depression and ages skin faster. So I am depriving myself of sleep to get into a college or university that only sees me as a dollar sign, earn a piece of paper that doesn’t guarantee a job, rack up tens of thousands of dollars in debt, only to look old, and be grumpy and depressed while suffering from a heart related disease. Is completing that twenty-five point assignment actually worth it?

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I turned this in as an assignment for school, and my teacher never even tried to make sure I was okay. This was a warning sign, a call for help, but people are too busy to listen. Where is a support system when you need one?

Daddy Didn't Love Me!

My daddy didn't love me.

Never had a clue why that might be...

Never did he, hold my hand.

Never was he, my best friend.

Called lil sis his baby girl

& momma, his whole world.

He never taught me about boys,

He wasn't even good enough for toys.

Never read to me or told me I'm beautiful.

Never smiled at me and told me he was proud.

Only shhed me, told me I was too loud.

Never consoled me from hysterical tears.

Never did he, soothe my fears.

Never even told me the most important 3.

That's right, he never told me..

That he loved me.

Why?

Then I was told it's because I'm someone else's bastard. He never loved me either.

How could you run off and leave such a beauty?

He couldn't have loved me,

Needed him, but he was never there. To hold me. To love me. Does he even know my name? He's a sorry excuse. I'm ashamed. Where is he now? No place to be found. Maybe burning, underground.

My daddy never loved me.

©2012 By Dominique D. All rights reserved

Long Distance Relationships

Hmmm. Long distance relationships are complex concepts. In my opinion, they can become very difficult. I should know, I've been in a long distance relationship for a bit shy of four years! Long distance relationships require a lot of honesty, trust, communication, commitment, acceptance, dependability, patience, respect, tolerance, understanding, and empathy.

Long distance relationships are a test of faith, really. For me, I have always been okay with being in long distance relationships, but now I'm slipping into more of a neutral position. I find it more challenging being away from my man. I don't need to be with him every waking moment. But it's times where I get real lonely, jealous and angry 'cause he's no where to be found. Like today, I texted and told him that I wish we could go out to dinner today. It's not because I was hungry, but it was because I just want to be in his presence. I know my time will come, but sometimes, when I think about death, I start thinking, will I ever really get the time, I've been waiting for?

This is a random picture I found on the internet. I do not own it nor the copyright to it.

Freshman Feelings

Oh, how I love him.

Selena Gomez once said “I love you like a love song.”

I love to see him everyday.

We talk, we hug and kiss.

He was my birthday wish.

He makes me joyful.

Everyday I feel exuberant and amazing.

Our love is everlasting.

Our love is like the wind running through my hair,

It makes me look beautiful!

Filling up with emotion and feeling,

Unexplainable, until you overflow like a mixing pot.

Looking at trains reminds me of him and I,

Because they all end up going on the same tracks.

And the difference is the deference for us all.

Here is a photo of my sexy hubby bear. The only man in  my life. Words will never be able to fully express how much I love him or how grateful I am to have him in my life and by my side.

I dedicate this poem to the love of my life James.

©2012 By Dominique D. All rights reserved