Daddy Didn't Love Me!

My daddy didn't love me.

Never had a clue why that might be...

Never did he, hold my hand.

Never was he, my best friend.

Called lil sis his baby girl

& momma, his whole world.

He never taught me about boys,

He wasn't even good enough for toys.

Never read to me or told me I'm beautiful.

Never smiled at me and told me he was proud.

Only shhed me, told me I was too loud.

Never consoled me from hysterical tears.

Never did he, soothe my fears.

Never even told me the most important 3.

That's right, he never told me..

That he loved me.

Why?

Then I was told it's because I'm someone else's bastard. He never loved me either.

How could you run off and leave such a beauty?

He couldn't have loved me,

Needed him, but he was never there. To hold me. To love me. Does he even know my name? He's a sorry excuse. I'm ashamed. Where is he now? No place to be found. Maybe burning, underground.

My daddy never loved me.

©2012 By Dominique D. All rights reserved

Long Distance Relationships

Hmmm. Long distance relationships are complex concepts. In my opinion, they can become very difficult. I should know, I've been in a long distance relationship for a bit shy of four years! Long distance relationships require a lot of honesty, trust, communication, commitment, acceptance, dependability, patience, respect, tolerance, understanding, and empathy.

Long distance relationships are a test of faith, really. For me, I have always been okay with being in long distance relationships, but now I'm slipping into more of a neutral position. I find it more challenging being away from my man. I don't need to be with him every waking moment. But it's times where I get real lonely, jealous and angry 'cause he's no where to be found. Like today, I texted and told him that I wish we could go out to dinner today. It's not because I was hungry, but it was because I just want to be in his presence. I know my time will come, but sometimes, when I think about death, I start thinking, will I ever really get the time, I've been waiting for?

This is a random picture I found on the internet. I do not own it nor the copyright to it.

An Outlet

Truly, I just need an outlet for my emotions. My diary can no longer hold how I feel. I've been looking for a friend, looking for someone to make me feel loved and accepted. Never got that from home. Now, I'm wishing I did. Then I wouldn't be out here, trying to get any and everyone to appreciate me and know my worth. I been looking for something to make me feel like I fit.

I felt so ugly and stupid. I pretended to be happy with myself, so others could be happy with me too. But where did that get me? Back to square one, lonely. This time, I've lost myself. I don't know where she went. Her soul forever lost in a sea of pain.