Daddy Didn't Love Me!

My daddy didn't love me.

Never had a clue why that might be...

Never did he, hold my hand.

Never was he, my best friend.

Called lil sis his baby girl

& momma, his whole world.

He never taught me about boys,

He wasn't even good enough for toys.

Never read to me or told me I'm beautiful.

Never smiled at me and told me he was proud.

Only shhed me, told me I was too loud.

Never consoled me from hysterical tears.

Never did he, soothe my fears.

Never even told me the most important 3.

That's right, he never told me..

That he loved me.

Why?

Then I was told it's because I'm someone else's bastard. He never loved me either.

How could you run off and leave such a beauty?

He couldn't have loved me,

Needed him, but he was never there. To hold me. To love me. Does he even know my name? He's a sorry excuse. I'm ashamed. Where is he now? No place to be found. Maybe burning, underground.

My daddy never loved me.

©2012 By Dominique D. All rights reserved

Long Distance Relationships

Hmmm. Long distance relationships are complex concepts. In my opinion, they can become very difficult. I should know, I've been in a long distance relationship for a bit shy of four years! Long distance relationships require a lot of honesty, trust, communication, commitment, acceptance, dependability, patience, respect, tolerance, understanding, and empathy.

Long distance relationships are a test of faith, really. For me, I have always been okay with being in long distance relationships, but now I'm slipping into more of a neutral position. I find it more challenging being away from my man. I don't need to be with him every waking moment. But it's times where I get real lonely, jealous and angry 'cause he's no where to be found. Like today, I texted and told him that I wish we could go out to dinner today. It's not because I was hungry, but it was because I just want to be in his presence. I know my time will come, but sometimes, when I think about death, I start thinking, will I ever really get the time, I've been waiting for?

This is a random picture I found on the internet. I do not own it nor the copyright to it.

Freshman Feelings

Oh, how I love him.

Selena Gomez once said “I love you like a love song.”

I love to see him everyday.

We talk, we hug and kiss.

He was my birthday wish.

He makes me joyful.

Everyday I feel exuberant and amazing.

Our love is everlasting.

Our love is like the wind running through my hair,

It makes me look beautiful!

Filling up with emotion and feeling,

Unexplainable, until you overflow like a mixing pot.

Looking at trains reminds me of him and I,

Because they all end up going on the same tracks.

And the difference is the deference for us all.

Here is a photo of my sexy hubby bear. The only man in  my life. Words will never be able to fully express how much I love him or how grateful I am to have him in my life and by my side.

I dedicate this poem to the love of my life James.

©2012 By Dominique D. All rights reserved

In Competition With My Best Friend!

Like all girls my age, I had a best friend, two actually. One of which, I called my twin. I never thought we looked alike, but everyone else did. I guess it was because of our skin color, similar body types and hairstyles. We hung out everyday. She stayed at my house 24/7, we practically lived together.

Before I met her, I was the popular girl or so I thought. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. But as time went on, she secretly took my place. Everyone knew of her, especially the boys. I'm not boy crazy or anything, but the way she fed into the attention made me a little jealous. It seemed like guys were always complimenting her, buying her gifts and offering to take her out. I realized that I couldn't get upset because she was "like able".

These were our best friend rings.

But a time came where her dates and make-out sessions started to taunt me. I had a boyfriend, but it was hard managing our relationship because of the distance between us, but that's another story. It began to feel like my friend would rub her love life in my face and laugh because I didn't have one. It drove me to desperate measures. That's when I realized that I was in competition with my best friend. I wanted to be like her, yet somehow prove that I was better than her. I found myself dressing like her, talking like her, and acting like her. Many say I was her shadow. I never knew it, but behind my back she would refer to me her puppet. I thought I was trying to make guys like me, then it turned into me thinking that I wanted to make her think highly of me. I don't know what drug I was on, but I am so happy that I am no longer on it.

An Outlet

Truly, I just need an outlet for my emotions. My diary can no longer hold how I feel. I've been looking for a friend, looking for someone to make me feel loved and accepted. Never got that from home. Now, I'm wishing I did. Then I wouldn't be out here, trying to get any and everyone to appreciate me and know my worth. I been looking for something to make me feel like I fit.

I felt so ugly and stupid. I pretended to be happy with myself, so others could be happy with me too. But where did that get me? Back to square one, lonely. This time, I've lost myself. I don't know where she went. Her soul forever lost in a sea of pain.